Today, someone walked into my office to tell me exactly what I need to hear: it's OK to be frustrated with God. That may sound strange, but bear with me.
I often wander through life wondering, "Should I stay or should I go?" Unlike The Clash, however, I'm talking life path decisions, not the most recent romantic fling. Is God calling me to remain here? Or does He have something else for me? And if He has something else, what is it? Where is it? Under which rock is He hiding the news?
In times of waiting, people offer platitudes such as, "Trust God. Wait in Him. He hasn't abandoned you. He'll do something big. You need just to rest and to wait in Him." This makes sense. This is Biblical. There are many verses that back their statements up. Psalm 37:5, says, "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently on Him, " and Lamentations 3:25 reminds, "The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him." Waiting on God isn't a new thing. His people have been doing it for centuries and centuries. Remember men and women like Abraham, Moses, Job, and Hannah?
Honestly, when I hear such statements, my response is much like that of a belligerent child, "Yeah? You want to work in my life? Go for it. Show me. Because right now, I don't feel like you are, and I don't see how this is going to work out. Much less how this could possibly work out for anything resembling my good." I recognize that this is not exactly a holy reaction.
And yet, I was reminded today that it's OK. This is not to say that my whining is music to God's ears; however, it is to say that he remains good and constant and Love even when I am questioning his perfect plan. It is to say that it's OK to wait. And while I wait, it's OK to ask God why I'm waiting. It's OK to tell Him that I'm frustrated. To ask Him what the point is. David and the Psalmists did it often (see Ps. 55:17, 72:12, 88:1, 130:1).
He has a purpose and a plan; He promises. Proverbs 2:3 and 5 say, "If you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding...then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God." Right there in the Book of Wisdom, it says to cry out to God for an explanation, and find Him.
Even without the end of the waiting in sight, even when the odds seem to be stacked against my cause, God is there; He's there to stand in my weakness as my strength and my comfort. Whether I want to or not, I need to lean into Him, trust, and, when I have questions, to "cry out for understanding". Even when I want to throw myself to floor and kick and scream like a child---especially in those moments---He's there for me to cry out to. He never ceases to be perfectly good and perfectly God, loving me through the times of waiting and questioning.